When misused, quotation marks make even the most innocent sentences worthy of some serious suspicion. These signs have given me some major trust issues.

Hint hint, wink wink.

The hard truth about customer service.

…Actually, this one is pretty on-point.

No “strings” attached

Gender is so just so fluid nowadays.

“But is not ready for a serious relationship right now.”

I like the forwardness, but maybe buy me a drink first?

This just speaks for itself.

Definitely not a drug front.

They won’t judge you if you’re actually just fat

Totally not breathing on the back of your neck and whispering in tongues.

Or giant pit of death. Same difference.

If only everyone were this honest.

Has it been sitting out for two days? Yes. Is there mold on it? No.

Looks like I’m in that particularly sleazy part of the neighborhood again.

“Totally not death” awaits you there.

Objects in quotation marks. For, you know, reasons.

*Turns faucet on, waits ten seconds, turns it off* Yeah, you know who you are.

The only reason this pole isn’t rolling its eyes is because it doesn’t have eyes.

At least, that’s what they tell the horse.

Hopefully more integrity than the structure of their building.

Someone just earned their Blatant Abuse of Punctuation badge.

That awkward moment when someone stands too close to you at the manure pile.

I request a worldwide z-snap in honor of this fine individual.

Whatever this is, I want it nowhere near my hands.

Something seems fishy here.

How to emasculate your employees in just four easy marks.

Their racial profiling abilities are unparalleled.

This is how people die.

I’m suddenly a vegetarian.

He’s the one who totally won’t inject your breasts with cement. Totally not that one.

Technically it’s upstairs if there’s a basement, right?

Literally no one is surprised that these are found on a white van.

Well… I mean… I guess you’re right…

You can’t even tell me that Walter White isn’t operating out of this place.

After a week, food safety laws require them to add a second set of quotations.

The double negative makes this one extra tricky. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Ah, so we’re at one of THOSE Chinese restaurants.

Good luck trying to win a shootout against a zombie cop.

We’ll settle this once and for all on Maury next week, but until then, let’s celebrate.

Pay only with your eternal soul.

There will be “Kool-Aid” and we will “sacrifice a goat.”

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